Final Step: Build your Tribe

 
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The final, Step 5, of Create a Career & Life You love is about finding your tribe, 0r your support system. These are your cheerleaders and people who believe in you and your authentic version of happiness.

This piece can be one of the most challenging aspects of making change in your career or life because:

  • We are hardwired as humans to require support and connection for survival

  • Anything that threatens that basic human need can feel extremely painful

  • Showing up as different, not “normal,” loud, too needy, etc… can threaten that need for connection - at least in the short term, we can be afraid to be totally real out of fear of rejection.

  • We don’t want to be alone.

All 4 prior steps of this series feel as though they threaten our need to feel connected. But fortunately, as I mentioned, only in the short term. But it’s why we don’t stick to steps 1-4. It’s hard work to feel rejected!

If you are craving more depth in your relationships, to have a tribe of people who “just get you!” you have to start by being honest with yourself about how often you hold back your true self. Your opinions, desires, etc… all of it!

When I think one thing and act out of alignment with that thought/emotion, I feel a pang of energy run through my body (typically, for me, it’s anger that I’m holding back, I’m working on it:)), and maybe that happens to you too? Maybe you get a feeling in your gut or heart, like step 3?

Try sharing your honest feelings the next time it happens - you may feel completely vulnerable, out of sorts and turn red, etc… and you could get a weird reaction from the person standing across from you, but that means you’re making progress, and you should feel awesome for just getting your authentic voice out there! Honestly, it’s liberating when the feelings are real.

And I will tell you that longer term (this can happen really quickly with newer relationships, but the older ones can take some time), the quality your connections increases with your level of authenticity! You end up feeling loved exponentially more, even if you have fewer friends.

When you feel supported, you can accomplish anything you want, because it’s no longer “all on you!”

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Liz TrainesComment