The Dark Reality of an Identity Crisis (and how to get through it)

Are you having an identity crisis? Or maybe you've had one in the past?

I have. It's awful. Scary. Lonely. Out of control feeling, like a hurricane of uncertainty. And you can't avoid it. Wherever you turn, you feel empty and lost.

I called it career burnout when it happened to me, over and over again, but now, in hindsight, I believe it was an identity crisis. Something inside me was telling me I needed to change; I wasn't living in alignment with my values. 

I had spent most of my life focused on people pleasing, acutely aware of what others thought of me, tethered to a life of social norms, instead of the authentic identity I carried within me, that so desperately wanted to shine.

I'd find ways to always be smiling, and while people would call me pretty, I'd see myself in the mirror as ugly, overweight, haggard, drained, dishonest, fraudulent, tired, puffy. I felt like a criminal in my own body.

It's ironic, because I never did anything really bad. There were no murders committed, hit and runs, or theft. But a collection of shame and small actions I wasn't proud of, grew inside of me, like a volcano ready to erupt. I told myself I'd handle it all "later." 

"Later" became my identity crisis... a force, stronger than I'd ever experienced. I had no choice but to focus on my inner voice, convinced I was about to unleash Pandora's box, and subsequently, my entire life would unravel. Everything I'd built would fall apart.

Thank goodness, that was a fallacy... the truth is that we are made up of a collection of experiences, and in order to become our best selves, we need to own all of them, the good and bad. The moment we start to honor them, is the moment we start to heal that "criminal" inside ourselves.

By no means is this easy. Making big change in your life is f-ing hard, especially if it's the first time you're really challenged to figure out what's next for you.

I strongly believe that change is there to make you stronger and happier than ever before, but it can break you down, a lot, before you get to the light at the end of the tunnel (and I can attest to the light being amazing). 

So I'm sharing with you today, the darkness, but also, what you can do to start living that life you were meant to live, and step into the light (at least faster than I did)! 

Check out my tips to navigate an identity crisis here.

Sending you lots of <3



P.S. Contemplating whether it's time for a big change in your life, please get in touch. I'm here for you <3

Liz TrainesComment