Rejection... ugh

Photo by  boram kim  on  Unsplash

Photo by boram kim on Unsplash


How many times has someone told you "no" in your lifetime? If you're like me, especially over the last few years, it's been A LOT!

No's hurt, they literally sting.

As I built my business, I kept track of EVERY single conversation I had with a potential client. And for SO long, the number of no's was astounding. I mean, like 10x more no's than yes'!!!! It was rough to say the least...

Rejection can cause us to question whether we're supposed to be going after this thing we want... SO BADLY! The business, the side hustle, the promotion, the new job.

The voice in your head starts to say, "Maybe the no's are the universe's way of telling me I'm not cut out for this? And if I keep getting no's, I'm going to have to move in with my parents, and I'll become a hermit, and then I'll never find a partner, ahhh!!!"


That voice is what I call, "Catastrophic toxic thinking;" it's no good for anyone. Those negative thoughts slow us down and sometimes cause us to stop altogether! They can CRUSH our dreams. 

I won't let your dreams be crushed!!

To do this, we need to quiet that critical voice and become more resilient towards rejection. I know, it's easier said than done, but that's why I'm sharing with you:

5 Steps to Conquering Rejection:

Step 1. Breathe for processing, perspective & preparation

  • EVERYONE who is working towards something they care about will face challenge and rejection. It's the part of the success process we don't see on Instagram. 
  • Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity. GET MORE PREPARED
  • Remind yourself that stopping is not an option; when you believe in something so deeply, you will find the YES, even if it looks a little different than you anticipated.

Step 2: Ask for feedback

  • Whether you’ve received 1 or 10 rejections, this does not indicate that you will be rejected forever. Instead, start looking at each “no” as a data point.
  • Dig deeper, get curious to learn more about why you received the "no." You’re collecting data so you can attract the right opportunity that feels authentic to you!
  • Remember: I know, this is a process personal to YOU, but a lot of the time, rejection has very little to do with you; it has everything to do with the other person.

Step 3: Evaluate whether there are changes you can make in your process

  • As you collect data points, and start to notice a trend, ask yourself, or a trusted coach or mentor if there is anything you can change about your approach? A trusted coach mentor is someone who will ask LOTS of questions to get to know your specific situation. Too much advice can be detrimental to your progress if it’s not SPECIFICALLY tailored to you and where you are on your journey.

Step 4: Put yourself out there (again)

  • Rejection causes you to slow down; you're protecting yourself
  • Go back out there! Networking events, connect with friends on LinkedIn, ask for help! Building a network of supporters will make this process SO much easier, and will help you handle the uncertainty.

Step 5: Mindset shift

  • You control your thoughts; they don't control you. Choose them carefully.
  • Reconnect with the good stuff. Remember what you DO have, the stuff you’ve worked hard for, instead of what you DON"T have.
    • Past promotions, celebrations, grades and projects in school, things you’ve worked hard to accomplish.
    • In other words, shift from the toxic NO to your past successes

Your goal may be bigger or more challenging than anything you've ever done, but all of your past accomplishments were once new to you too! It will just take time and consistency for the right opportunity to appear.

Don’t give up! If you believe the opportunity exists, and it’s important to you, it will come. 

Frustrated trying to accomplish your career goals? Learn more about how I help my clients!


Liz TrainesComment