As humans, we look for guidance when times get tough. We turn to others for inspiration, mentorship, and coaching. Many of the people we look up to make happiness and success look effortless, like it's just part of their nature. We can end up thinking some people are born "happy," "set up for success," or "talented," etc... and quick to assume we're just not those people. So we settle.
I used to believe that I was not one of "the lucky ones." Truth is, that was just an excuse for not doing the work to become "one of those people." Sure, I had hobbies, but I wasn't exceptionally good at any of them. I was what I like to call, "a Jacqueline of all trades, master of none." I spread my time across so many different activities, people, and responsibilities. And while I cared about it all, and I had values and priorities, I was not acting in alignment with them. I was always busy and distracted.
Underneath the distraction, I knew I so badly wanted to be a master at something! But what!?!
There was a tiny tiny voice inside me screaming "You have the capacity to love your work, to feel passionate about something, successful and happy! Don't forget me!" Though the voice was yelling, it still felt thousands of miles away, so I ignored it and instead, developed a sense of envy for people who seemed to have what I wanted. I would question how the heck they did it? Meanwhile, I was working SO hard just to put one foot in front of the other each day and feeling such a lack of satisfaction.
Until I had had ENOUGH! It took a few years to hit my rock bottom, but it was a daily struggle I'd like to NEVER return to (don't let it get this bad, pretty pleaaaase).
I first had to accept that something wasn't right - I knew that better had to exist and in order to uncover it, I'd have to stop "distracting myself" all the time.
I slowly, but surely, started to embrace some quiet time with that tiny voice, and by embracing it, it got louder and closer; so much so that I can't ignore it anymore. I came to realize I uncovered a new kind of hustle:
Listening to and taking action from the gut!
Sounds really simple, right? HA! Maybe it is for you, but it was HARD work for me, and it still is work to maintain. Without this kind of hustle, we're just distracting ourselves from finding the happiness and satisfaction we so badly want and are capable of creating.
I realized that happiness and success are not based on luck; they are a choice. I DO have a choice (and YOU do too). You can let society or those around you dictate your decisions or you can start to actually listen to what feels right to you, and take action.
If you want to strengthen your connection with your gut intuition, start by answering 1 or 2 these questions with compassion (aka no judging your thoughts/feelings/emotions). I recommend journaling your answers and seeing where they take you:
- What am I good at?
- What thoughts or feelings do I have inside me that cause shame? What do I need to do to let go of them?
- What do I love doing? How do I bring more of this into my life?
- How can I bring more fun and adventure into my life (you are never too old for fun, and it doesn't need to involve alcohol)?
- Am I harboring anger or resentment towards anyone (even though I love them)?
- What could I say no to today so I can say yes to something I need? (there's always tomorrow or next week:))
- How often do I say yes out of guilt? When I really just want to say no, but really don't want to disappoint anyone?
- How often do I say an instant "yes!" out of excitement, but forget to think about what that means I'm saying no to (a lot of the time it's much needed self-care)
- How can I learn to better cope with guilt or disappointment and not let it eat me alive?
- Why am I so scared of conflict? And the fear of not being liked?
- What's the worst thing that will happen if I start tuning in with my intuition?
Answering these questions and accepting my thoughts, eventually led me to quit finance and start my own coaching practice. They're powerful when you really dig deep.
Today I am by no means a master coach, woman, entrepreneur, sister, daughter, dog mom, etc... but I do love my work and life, feel passionate about it, successful and happy (most of the time). I focus my time on the things that matter most, and continuing to improve feels satisfying. Yes, my priorities shift, and yours will too, but taking action on what feels right for you (even when it may disappoint your partner, friends or family) is key. Your voice is truly unique and you have abilities that no one else has, do a little hustle to find it.
Having trouble answering these questions, do not worry! Please get in touch and we can chat.