It's not about willpower

Do you set goals for yourself and not achieve them? I’ve been there, a bunch. We start out really strong and then we taper off, or one day, we just stop completely. Think about dating as an example. You have a renewed outlook on dating, your heart has been broken before, but you’re ready to go back out there. You’re on a mission to go on at least 1 date/week.

So you go online, talk to a few people who seem cool, you go on dates, have one or two good ones, and then, crickets - you don’t hear back from the good ones and tell the others, thank you, but not a fit. You feel defeated - all the effort, no gain.

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Let's "Cliff Jump" Together!

Back in 2013, I took a life changing vacation.

I had just had my heart broken by the first man I thought I could marry. We were supposed to go to South Africa together for Christmas to visit some of his extended family; cancelled. Not only did I feel a gaping hole in my heart, but the 3 weeks I had taken off from my finance job at the time felt like another one. I couldn't sit around for all of it. So I booked a solo trip to Curacao, a tiny island in the Netherland-Antilles, right near Aruba.

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Are you sabotaging your happiness?

If you asked me this question a few years ago, I’d say no way, but then I became aware of the “shoe drop” mentality that I most definitely possessed. It’s that feeling you get when a lot of good things have happened, but you’re waiting for a bomb/shoe/X traumatic life event to happen to take away all that joy.

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Real Pride Comes from Within

I’ve been feeling a deep sense of gratitude for all that I’ve been given; my existence as an able-bodied, white woman alone is a privilege, not to mention, my college education, world travels, corporate career, entrepreneurial experience, and the list goes on... But I am also proud of myself, for what I’ve built, but more importantly, for who I’ve become. It wasn’t easy. It takes courage to really get to know and love yourself and live in alignment with your values.

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Feeling behind in life?

I should be here…

I should be there…

I’ve worked so hard, why am I only at this level at work?

I’ve been in therapy for years, how in the world am I still facing the same problems?

All of these questions… they’re tough. They feel pretty sh*tty to sit and think about. But they’re signals of focusing on the wrong things. In other words, you’re focused on things you AREN’T doing vs. the things you ARE doing.

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Find your voice + Use It

I spent Friday afternoon with a super inspiring, diverse group of women at BMW leading a discussion on the topic, "Finding Your Voice + Using It." A woman (aka my friend Lauren:)) started the women's group to build a supportive space to help women grow in their careers.

The women really opened up about their challenges, but also their INCREDIBLE victories! It was super refreshing to hear some of the stories women shared about not only standing up for their own truths, but how they support other women (and men too, but they all agreed women appeared to need it more) in the room when they've needed help getting their points across. #MAJORPROGRESS 

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Why it's so important to turn off your type-A personality

Many of you know, I spent 8 years in corporate finance where I thrived off of the type A side of me. My body didn’t like it so much, and it would regularly tell me something was wrong (via panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic neck and shoulder tension). But naturally, as a severely type A person would, instead of getting curious about the source of the discomfort, I said I’d figure it out later! Neither stopping nor slowing down were in the cards for me and my goals.

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Final Step: Build your Tribe

The final, Step 5, of Create a Career & Life You love is about finding your tribe, 0r your support system. These are your cheerleaders and people who believe in you and your authentic version of happiness.

This piece can be one of the most challenging aspects of making change in your career or life because:

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Step 4: Master what's going on in your head

Step 4 of 5 in Creating a Career & Life You Love is all about getting curious about what’s happening in your mind.

Why is this important?

Thoughts drive feelings & emotions; feelings & emotions drive behaviors; behaviors become your reality and how people experience YOU… and then they send those same vibes, right back to you!

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Step 3: Listen to and Take Action from Your "Hut"

Step 3 of 5 of in the cultivating a Create a Career and Life You Love is about listening to + taking action from your “hut.” Sound funny? Let’s dive in a bit more… because, I love this term, and honestly, it’s required for maintaining your strong foundation (Step 1) as well as your living your values (Step 2).

Your "hut," coined by writer, Alexandra Franzen, is the combination of messages sent from your heart + gut, which together, I believe to be your truth, north star or moral compass. The stuff that makes you uniquely YOU!

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Step 2: Define Your Authentic Version of Success

Do you find yourself comparing your accomplishments to your friends’ and colleagues’? Maybe you’re gauging success based on external factors like money, rank and personal possessions? Measuring your level of success in any of these ways can be really damaging to our self esteem, energy and overall life satisfaction. It ends up being exhausting, not to mention can feel like a rollercoaster ride of really high highs and quite low lows.

Why? Because you’re basing your success on external factors - circumstances that sit “outside” of ourselves, that we have absolutely zero control of.

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Step 1: Build a Strong Foundation

Last week, I shared with you the 10 Principles behind Creating a Career (& Life) You Love.

This week, we’re talking about how you can actually make them a reality!

I encourage you to reflect, and follow along these next 4 weeks, as I share with you, in more depth, how to get to where you want to be!  If you’re new here, please join my community at the sign up form below and you’ll receive the next steps in your inbox.

There are so many different messages out there about how to live a successful life and how to get exactly what you want. And some of that stuff works, really well. But some of it really doesn’t; the advice can feel like pressure to become even more efficient at everything you’re already doing in order to add MORE to your life. Like adding more will magically get you what you want!? More is not the answer.

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