Why invest in a coach when you can read a self-help book? (3 min Read)

Some of my FAVE Self-Help Books!

A frustrated career change client of mine recently asked during our clarity session, "How is investing in a coach or attending a retreat different than reading a self-help book? I've tried so many different things, nothing sticks." I said, good question... because a good coach meets you where you are on your journey and customizes a program to your specific needs. A book can't do this; you are responsible for the customizing. I thought more about how I'd elaborate if my client wasn't satisfied with my first answer, because, it's a good question. So here goes:

How many self-help books have you read? Personally, I've lost count and I love them because they serve a number of purposes for me:

  • Inspiration and Encouragement (to keep going and dream big)
  • Education
  • Perspective
  • Normalization (aka comfort in knowing you're not alone)
  • Support (many authors have online communities and events)
  • Accessible price point

So yes, books RULE! But some common challenges you may face:

  • Do you actually take action and do what you say you're going to do?
  • Do you complete all the activities? Or do you kind of half-ass them and shift your goal from "lifestyle change" to "finish the damn book" (I know, who would do that? ;) )
  • Does applying new principles to your life become a #1 priority? 
  • Do you finish the book? 

Most people say "no" to a lot of these questions, so nothing changes, duh.

But if you answered "yes" to these questions and haven't witnessed the transformation you want in your life, let's dig deeper:

  • How badly do you want the change? Do you believe it's possible?
  • Why do you want this change?
  • Are you clear why your other attempts haven't worked?
  • Do you have someone to share all your ideas and challenges with in order to avoid decision/analysis paralysis?
  • Do you question whether the author is speaking to you? Maybe something feels a little off?
  • How much fear and resistance is in your psyche, keeping you safe, but might actually be sabotaging your efforts?
  • Are you playing small?
  • Do you have someone to call you out on your excuses or to challenge your rationale?
  • Do you have an unbiased person who has your best interest at heart to make sure you get what you want, as quickly as possible, without risking your own authenticity?

Any of this resonate with you? If the books aren’t working for you, the overarching question here is to ask yourself:

Are you ready to go big, dig deep and make your transformation happen?

A good coach, who you feel TOTALLY GETS YOU, has something big that you want, and you TRUST has a solid plan to get you there, can help you answer the important questions that are holding you back. A coach acts as a mirror and an advocate to help you see yourself and your vision more clearly, so that it can transform from a vision to your reality.

Sound like something you need in order to make a big career change? I know how scary it can be to do on your own, so I'm here to help you... Check out my Chicago 1-day retreat on Friday, August 18th. Only 3 spots left!!

 

Always want what you can't have? Follow these 3 Steps:

Always want what you can't have? Follow these 3 Steps:

I got inspired by a college friend's Facebook post this week: "Why do we always want the things we can't have?" I thought about it, and reminded myself that I always used to feel this way... I wanted a Bottega bag, a stronger connection with my partner, straight A's, a promotion, luxurious tropical vacations, etc... it felt like these things were so far out of my reach and I had accepted that they would never happen. 

But the truth is, I don't feel that way anymore. Sure, I have wants and dreams for myself (and one day I will buy myself that Bottega bag because they are just so damn beautiful)! But I don't think about it as "wanting what I can't have;" instead, the dialog in my mind has changed to:

is your hustle distracting you from being happy?

is your hustle distracting you from being happy?

As humans, we look for guidance when times get tough. We turn to others for inspiration, mentorship, and coaching. Many of the people we look up to make happiness and success look effortless, like it's just part of their nature. We can end up thinking some people are born "happy," "set up for success," or "talented," etc... and quick to assume we're just not those people. So we settle. 

I used to believe that I was not one of "the lucky ones." Truth is, that was just an excuse for not doing the work to become "one of those people." Sure, I had hobbies, but I wasn't exceptionally good at any of them. I was what I like to call, "a Jacqueline of all trades, master of none." I spread my time across so many different activities, people, and responsibilities. And while I cared about it all, and I had values and priorities, I was not acting in alignment with them. I was always busy and distracted.

Underneath the distraction, I knew I so badly wanted to be a master at something! But what!?! 

Fake It 'Til You Make It?

Fake It 'Til You Make It?

You change careers. You do a total 180 to leave a career that was once exciting, but started feeling like something was missing. You did some internal digging and decided to take a risk and pursue a career in a new industry and function that ignites your passion and plays to your strengths!

You walk into your first meeting - you're excited, but it's scary to walk into a room knowing you are the rookie. You want to look competent and intelligent. You're used to being an expert at what you do - you would give advice, not be the one asking for it. It's tempting in this situation to say, "I'm going to pretend like I understand exactly what the group is talking about, otherwise people view me as incompetent," in other words, "fake it 'til I make it."

DON'T DO IT!

I Got L-O-V-E On My Mind

I Got L-O-V-E On My Mind

On my podcast this week, I talked about going on my first date, in a long time. It actually felt good to get back out there. I've worked really hard to overcome a lot of fear and insecurity around romantic relationships and love over the past few years. More recently, I've been focused on releasing limited beliefs when it comes to dating, an exercise that can help me stay motivated on a path that can, frankly, be an emotional rollercoaster. 

I want to share this process with you because you can apply it to dating, job searching, entrepreneurship, making new friends, or whatever journey you're currently focused on.

"No," I mean "yes!" AHH!

"No," I mean "yes!" AHH!

No. Two letters. Easy to pronounce, but loaded on so many levels.

Some things are easy to say no to: a workout, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, etc... they're low risk and can be done later. The guilt of saying no in these situations is relatively easy to get over, partially because they most likely don't involve anyone else's feelings/emotions other than your own. In these situations you feel like you should say yes, but you end up saying no. There are so many other things you would rather do, so you procrastinate. You then feel guilty and ask yourself why Netflix won your entire Saturday afternoon, as you eat a box of crackers and PB for dinner (you have no fresh produce and no clean dishes). It's a vicious cycle that bleeds into different areas of your life... 

[PODCAST Episode: 334] Wednesday Thoughts

No script, no planning, just raw thoughts to inspire real human connection

I'm reflecting on my week so far in order to be transparent with you about the good, the bad and the "huh" - aka, the "I'm confused, wtf is happening" moments. 

We're all human at the end of the day and have much more in common than we think. 

xoxox ~Liz

Episode 334 Recap:

  • Season 5: House of Cards + My first pilates class
  • Creating time for priorities (including online dating)
  • Getting good sleep when you're excited (naps needed)
  • Balancing excitement and pressure with a reasonable timeline

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Feeling Overwhelmed?

This past weekend, I attended a 1:1 coaching intensive with my business and mindset coach. It was a deeply meaningful, reflective and transformative 3.5 days. I came home with SO many ideas, step by step plans and utter excitement for the future. But I also felt REALLY mentally exhausted (we worked hard).

It’s like, you just SO want to keep going, but your mind and body are like, calm the F down. You need to relax. It’s an awesome feeling, but also challenging. I’ve been doing my best to pace myself, but let’s face it, I’m human...