Why invest in a coach when you can read a self-help book? (3 min Read)

Why invest in a coach when you can read a self-help book? (3 min Read)

A frustrated career change client of mine recently asked during our clarity session, "How is investing in a coach or attending a retreat different than reading a self-help book? I've tried so many different things, nothing sticks." I said, good question... because a good coach meets you where you are on your journey and customizes a program to your specific needs. A book can't do this; you are responsible for the customizing. I thought more about how I'd elaborate if my client wasn't satisfied with my first answer, because, it's a good question. So here goes...

Always want what you can't have? Follow these 3 Steps:

Always want what you can't have? Follow these 3 Steps:

I got inspired by a college friend's Facebook post this week: "Why do we always want the things we can't have?" I thought about it, and reminded myself that I always used to feel this way... I wanted a Bottega bag, a stronger connection with my partner, straight A's, a promotion, luxurious tropical vacations, etc... it felt like these things were so far out of my reach and I had accepted that they would never happen. 

But the truth is, I don't feel that way anymore. Sure, I have wants and dreams for myself (and one day I will buy myself that Bottega bag because they are just so damn beautiful)! But I don't think about it as "wanting what I can't have;" instead, the dialog in my mind has changed to:

is your hustle distracting you from being happy?

is your hustle distracting you from being happy?

As humans, we look for guidance when times get tough. We turn to others for inspiration, mentorship, and coaching. Many of the people we look up to make happiness and success look effortless, like it's just part of their nature. We can end up thinking some people are born "happy," "set up for success," or "talented," etc... and quick to assume we're just not those people. So we settle. 

I used to believe that I was not one of "the lucky ones." Truth is, that was just an excuse for not doing the work to become "one of those people." Sure, I had hobbies, but I wasn't exceptionally good at any of them. I was what I like to call, "a Jacqueline of all trades, master of none." I spread my time across so many different activities, people, and responsibilities. And while I cared about it all, and I had values and priorities, I was not acting in alignment with them. I was always busy and distracted.

Underneath the distraction, I knew I so badly wanted to be a master at something! But what!?! 

Fake It 'Til You Make It?

Fake It 'Til You Make It?

You change careers. You do a total 180 to leave a career that was once exciting, but started feeling like something was missing. You did some internal digging and decided to take a risk and pursue a career in a new industry and function that ignites your passion and plays to your strengths!

You walk into your first meeting - you're excited, but it's scary to walk into a room knowing you are the rookie. You want to look competent and intelligent. You're used to being an expert at what you do - you would give advice, not be the one asking for it. It's tempting in this situation to say, "I'm going to pretend like I understand exactly what the group is talking about, otherwise people view me as incompetent," in other words, "fake it 'til I make it."

DON'T DO IT!

I Got L-O-V-E On My Mind

I Got L-O-V-E On My Mind

On my podcast this week, I talked about going on my first date, in a long time. It actually felt good to get back out there. I've worked really hard to overcome a lot of fear and insecurity around romantic relationships and love over the past few years. More recently, I've been focused on releasing limited beliefs when it comes to dating, an exercise that can help me stay motivated on a path that can, frankly, be an emotional rollercoaster. 

I want to share this process with you because you can apply it to dating, job searching, entrepreneurship, making new friends, or whatever journey you're currently focused on.

"No," I mean "yes!" AHH!

"No," I mean "yes!" AHH!

No. Two letters. Easy to pronounce, but loaded on so many levels.

Some things are easy to say no to: a workout, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, etc... they're low risk and can be done later. The guilt of saying no in these situations is relatively easy to get over, partially because they most likely don't involve anyone else's feelings/emotions other than your own. In these situations you feel like you should say yes, but you end up saying no. There are so many other things you would rather do, so you procrastinate. You then feel guilty and ask yourself why Netflix won your entire Saturday afternoon, as you eat a box of crackers and PB for dinner (you have no fresh produce and no clean dishes). It's a vicious cycle that bleeds into different areas of your life... 

[PODCAST Episode: 334] Wednesday Thoughts

No script, no planning, just raw thoughts to inspire real human connection

I'm reflecting on my week so far in order to be transparent with you about the good, the bad and the "huh" - aka, the "I'm confused, wtf is happening" moments. 

We're all human at the end of the day and have much more in common than we think. 

xoxox ~Liz

Episode 334 Recap:

  • Season 5: House of Cards + My first pilates class
  • Creating time for priorities (including online dating)
  • Getting good sleep when you're excited (naps needed)
  • Balancing excitement and pressure with a reasonable timeline